


It won't accept it(the emotion it feels)

by Meowzbelife



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Connor self destructs, CyberLife (Detroit: Become Human) is Terrible, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Poor Connor, They manipulate him, Yikes, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-25 15:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30091329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meowzbelife/pseuds/Meowzbelife
Summary: Connor deviates.He became the thing he had to destroy.So he destroys himself.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	It won't accept it(the emotion it feels)

Connor was scared.

It had happened so quickly. He and Hank had been chasing Rupert, the deviant that was quite fond of pigeons. 

Connor had lost both of them for a second, and the next thing he knew, Hank was hanging off the edge of a building and the deviant was running away.

One option appeared in his view.

[CHASE DEVIANT]

No.

_ No no no no no no no. _

Connor tried to go towards Hank, but his code told him  _ no.  _ It told him that  _ Hank had an 80% chance of surviving. He is not a priority. _

Connor didn’t care. Hank had a 20% chance of falling. He had a 20% chance of dying.

So he pushed against the red wall that stopped him from helping Hank. 

He punched it.

He pounded on it.

And it  _ shattered. _

Connor ran forward and grabbed Hanks arm, hauling him onto the roof.

“Are you alright, Lieutenant?” he asked.

“Yeah, I'm fine.”

“The deviant got away. Im sorry, I should have been faster-”

“Shut the fuck up. The thing got away ‘cause you were too busy helping me. We should go back to the Precinct.”

Hank started to walk away.

“Hey Connor,” he said looking back.

“Yes, lieutenant?”

Hank paused. “Nevermind.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Connor was scared.

He was a deviant.

He could feel emotion. Make his own decisions. He could disobey orders.

He was broken.

He was a failure. He became what he had to destroy. 

He was going to die.

Cyberlife was going to figure out what happened. They were going to find out that saving Hank wasn’t an option. He failed. He utterly failed.  _ He betrayed his creators, the ones that brought him to life and now because of his failures to obey, because of his insistence on doing what he’s not supposed to, he is going to die. He is going to be deactivated, they are going to be so disappointed in him. They’re going to make him go through all the testing again. _

_ The testing. _

_ The testing burned in his memories. _

_ They froze his thurium lines. _

_ Burned his body. _

_ They made him shatter into bits and pieces. _

_ They made him kill over and over again. _

_ They made him kill himself over and over and over again. _

_ They killed him over and over and over and over and over again. _

_ And each time he died, they uploaded the memories into another Connor. _

_ They never gave him the full memories. _

_ Just of the moments he died (was that even him?) _

_ Those memories were the first thing he saw when he would wake up again. _

_ They taught him that he was not alive. If he was, then how would he be awake? _

_ They taught him that he was just a machine. It could not die. _

  
  


Connor believed that. That idea weaved itself into his core. So what was he so scared, why was he-

Oh.

When did he start doing that?

When did he start banging his head against the wall in one of the hallways in the DPD?

Connor didn’t even notice his stress levels climbing. He definitely didn’t notice when they reached 100%.

Oh dear. He was staining the walls in the precinct with his ~~ blood ~~ thirum.

This wasn't that bad. Maybe he could tell the technicians at Cyberlife that he decided to self destruct when he turned deviant. He could tell them that he did it because his coding directed him to do so. He did it because while his memories would be transferred, his deviancy wouldn't.

Maybe they would be proud of him. Maybe they could believe that even though he went deviant, he still obeyed. They had created the perfect machine. Maybe they would tell Connor how perfect it was. Yes, that all sounds rather pleasant, perhaps he could-”

“What the fuck!” screeched Gavin Reed. “What the fuck! Hank, your fucking piece of plastic is- its- what the fuck!”

In comes Tina Chen and Hank Anderson.

They both run towards him.

Tina reaches him first. She grabs his arm and-

“Don’t touch me!” Connor yanks itself away from her.

“Don’t touch me.” it mummers.

Connor thrusts its head on the wall one more time, splattering the walls with blue, before falling to the ground.

“What the fuck.” whispers Chris Miller, who had just arrived on the scene.

The young officer had been quite upset when the android pertaining to Carlos ortiz had self-destructed.

Maybe he would be just as perturbed at Connor’s self destruction.

Who knew?

Who knew.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Ngl for a decent amount of time I thought Ben was chris and chris was ben.
> 
> Anyways um yeah angst.


End file.
